Deep in Humble Pie...

Over the summer, I read a book called "Humility True Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney.

The book was about looking at where there is pride in your life; I definitely recommend this book to read! It was a really challenging book to read, mainly because a lot of the issues he was coming up with I hadn’t even thought of as pride.

Even now, as I am thinking back on the book and some of the situations, which he brought up, I am seeing that I have failed, even within these short months… that’s humbling!

My goal is to truly live in a way that I am humble first. It seems to me that a lot of issues, conflicts, or disagreements are because of proud stubbornness. What is the point in holding on to these destructive ways? So many times, I just want to brush this topic aside and say, "I’m not that bad" and then I look in the mirror and I see I am. My heart is not pure.

The only way to get over this, is truly turning to Jesus and saying sorry for thinking that I can do it all myself and what I can’t do myself isn’t important. The things I can’t do by myself are the most important.

I have to give over my pride to the foot of the cross, and lay it down, bare, and see it, as it is, in all its displeasing, ugly and destructive ways. This is not an easy thing to do. In fact, I am still learning to leave things at the foot of the cross and not carry them on my back all day, everyday.

The best thing is, God will fill the black hole with His forgiveness, love and presence, which is worth so much more than holding on to something that just eats away at you until you are rotten inside.  Knowing that I need Jesus to get me through my days and that I cannot survive without Him is so crucial for me.  Knowing that I am living for Him, I am carrying His name around with me and I have to understand that doing this means something. I have to know that pride drives away my relationship with Jesus. 

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

Be strong and take heart,

Butterflies & Rubies

J

Season of Change

A new situation? An old situation? 

At times, I just feel I would love to have a period of time where things would stay still, just for a short time. 

So much has happened in the last few years, months, weeks and even, days.

"Change is as good as a rest." They say...I don't even know who "They" are! I certainly can't agree with them! I HATE change. From the moment I know change is going to happen, I am on edge, I over eat on the chocolate, I go on a "go slow" to draw out the process of change as long as it is possible and I react terribly.

I try to reason with myself that actually, “I love change, change is good, change is a new opportunity to experience life and see what living is about,” all the while in the back of my head, I want to reach for the comfort. The comfort of knowing the people around me, the comfort of knowing my day to day routines and the comfort of being in “control” of my life. 

This summer, for me, was a prime example of how I don’t deal well with change.

In one month, we had about 7 major different situations happening. This was not going to be a fun month L.  The amount of change was off my radar. Instead of being excited about all these situations happening…. I crumbled…. Really badly. I think I argued the most with L this month than ever before, I could not sleep and you guessed it! My chocolate in take went through the roof…BOO!

However, the most important thing that I was missing, was my trust in God. That He would provide us with a home, a job, a church and all these other things that were happening.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after the month was over and things actually worked out, by the grace of God, that I sat back and could see He WAS in control, even though I was so OUT of control. If I trust in Him, He is my constant. Everything around me can change, but my relationship with God stays at my core. The process was unpleasant but necessary. God wants us to change otherwise people wouldn’t see His grace so plainly in the light of day.

I felt more confident these past few weeks, where there has been some more changes, that God knows my limits, He knows what I need, not necessarily what I want though, and even in the days of more major changes, HE is my truth and my core.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; - Proverbs 3:5

Be strong and take heart,
Butterflies & Rubies

J

I once heard a story about an art dealer...

There was an art dealer.  He had the most amazing collection of art. It was so amazing, any art gallery would dream of having it. Unfortunately, the art dealer died. 

There was no family for the paintings to be passed on to, his wife had died some years back and his son had gone to fight in a war, as part of the army, the son died while fighting. 

However, when it was heard that the art dealer had died, all the galleries- that knew he had this amazing collection- couldn't wait for the art pieces to come out of storage. The pieces of art were going to be sold off.  The money would go to a charity that the art dealer had picked before his death.

So, the day of the auction came. There was press coverage, gallery directors and rich business people, flying into the area to make sure they would be able to get “their” painting. 

The auctioneer started off by warming the crowd up. We have this artist and that artist. The room had a huge buzz in the air. 

The auctioneer then went on to sell the first piece. Clearing his throat, he ordered the first painting to come up and be shown to the room, to sell. 

It was by an unknown artist and it was a painting of the late art dealers son, a portrait. The auctioneer started the bidding off, "Who will give me $25,000?"

The room went cold silent. Again the auctioneer, "25,000, for this portrait." He waited, "Anyone?" The room was silent still, whispers started to be passed around the room. " $20,000, anyone?" The auctioneer came down in price again and again. The room was getting uncomfortable by now. 

Someone from the side shouted "Come on, we want the other pieces of art, no one once this one, move on!" The mans comment received cheers from others in the room and “Yes, leave this one.”

The auctioneer replied, "I am instructed to sell this painting first, before any other. This painting has to be sold first or none of the other painting will either."

A man at the back shouted, " I'll give you $50!" There was a roar of laughter throughout the room. 

The auctioneer counted down, "Going once, going twice sold to the number 504!" 

There was relief that passed through the room; lets start the real bidding everyone thought! 

The auctioneer then started to pack away. "What’s going on?" Someone asked confused. 

The auctioneer addressed the room, "The auction is now over, and everything has been sold."

What?!!" People roared in the room. The auctioneer said, "The written instructions from the owner were, whoever takes the son, takes all."

If we accept Jesus in our life, God will give us the whole "art collection." It is ready and waiting for us. We have to accept Jesus. That HE came to die for our sins, so we can be free and enjoy His love abundantly. It's the most amazing gift, and that is what it is... a gift.

Be strong and take heart,
Butterflies & Rubies

J